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What we do

Men may shift their feelings into another arena, and there is nothing wrong with this.  We may express emotions only in places where they feel safe, and where the expression of feelings is considered acceptable. Just look at how we act at  sports events: It's not uncommon to see men express great exuberance and affection, giving each other hugs and high-fives during a physical game . Football and hockey players are often thought of as some of the most "macho" men around but they appear quite comfortable expressing their feelings with each other during a game. Slapping each other playfully on the butt? Put these same men in another context, and you probably wouldn't see the same level of openness and comfort. Men’s feelings may take everyone off guard.   Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven't developed resources for handling them when they do arise. Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can...
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What we can feel

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It’s a painful conv ersation. And I often do not have the patience when the dialogue gets to this point. However, my empathy has expanded significantly as I’ve been eager to understand this interesting dynamic when men are asked about their emotional experiences. There are two main emotions that men seemingly feel most of the time, anger and apathy. It commonly frustrates men when they try to emotionally connect with a male only to be met with hostility or indifference. It drives many to believe that men are simple, ignorant creatures who have no feelings or emotional intelligence. But is that really true? Do we  really  only feel anger or apathy? I find this hard to swallow. And that’s because it isn’t true. Looking back at history of what we understand to be traditional masculinity and the what is acceptable for men to relate to one another. In the 19th century, men in America had much more affection and care wit h other men. This is not gay men expressi...
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